Summary
Even as the local law slowly progresses, this documentary shines a light on the lived experience of LGBTQIA+ communities around the world while showcasing its protagonists in South Korea.
In January this year, a Seoul court denied a same-sex couple’s rights for spousal health benefits. In a country where homosexuality was only declassified as “harmful and obscene” in 2003, these lack of legal protections for LGBTQIA+ communities are still indicative of widespread prejudice. In COMING TO YOU (너에게 가는 길), director Byun Gyu-ri attempts to give a face to the people most impacted by these attitudes.
Byun’s film primarily focuses on two mothers who initially have differing responses to their children coming out. Nabi, a veteran fire officer of over three decades, enters the film after her child Hankyeol comes out as a trans, non-binary, and asexual polyamorist. Nabi tries to understand the challenges that they might face, and joins the local chapter of PFLAG.
Flight attendant Vivian’s son Yejoon also comes out as gay by letter to his mother. She struggles with how this will impact his life in the conservative Korea, while Yejoon travels to Canada in an attempt to live outside those narrow confines. Or, as Yejoon puts it, to simply “kiss without danger.”
Working in parallel with, and in stark contrast to, Graham Kolbeins’ Queer Japan (2020), here we see South Korea at a crossroads. Like Japan, there is a complex scene that is caught between social change and a group of people who aren’t quite willing to move on yet. For every fledgling pride march moment that Byun captures, there’s an equally strong protest movement against LGBTQIA+ rights. One mother recounts being punched in the face at a pride march in front of police, also demonstrating who institutionalised the prejudice remains.
Which is where we find the real strength of Byun’s documentary. By concentrating on a handful on individuals, we get to witness firsthand how difficult the journey through the South Korean legal structure is for Hankyeol and Yejoon. For example, while South Korea does have facility for a change of legal gender, we see the courts deny Hankyeol’s right to do so under a technicality.
Yet there is hope thanks to the hardworking efforts of PFLAG and the LGBTQIA+ communities across South Korea. What started as a self-help group in 2014 was reformed in 2018 as a human rights advocacy group, positioning South Korea for more social and legal changes in the future. As PFLAG parents affirm their support to camera over the credits, there’s a good chance that dream could become a reality sooner rather than later.
2021 | South Korea | DIRECTOR: Byun Gyu-ri | CINEMATOGRAPHY: Byun Gyu-ri and others | EDITOR: San Kim | CAST: Eunae ‘Nabi’ Jeong, Sunhwa ‘Vivian’ Kang, Hankyeol Lee | DISTRIBUTOR: M-Line Distribution, Mardi Gras Film Festival 2022 | RUNNING TIME: 93 minutes | RELEASE DATE: 17 February – 3 March 2022 (AUS)
